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Here we pen our stories about our latest activities and our weekly feature on Humans of Medicine. Our team is forever expanding, if you’re interest in contributing to our blog, feel free to contact us.
“My brain felt like a lump of tangled threads that wouldn’t untangle no matter how hard I tried.”
I was thousands of kilometres away from home when I started experiencing knee pain. I struggled to continue with my routine; gone were the days when I could cycle 10 kilometres to university. I now had to push my bicycle uphill because my knees would otherwise scream in pain. I used to play rugby with my friends quite often but now even the thought of running caused pain in my knees.……
“...the people who were meant to help me are the very people who contributed to my burnout.”
I am a contract medical officer in the emergency department (ED) of a major government hospital. One year into my current rotation, I started to develop physician burnout. The burnout crept on insidiously. I felt exhausted despite getting enough sleep and had no motivation to do my best at work, which was strange for someone who doesn’t mind being busy with patients. I began to feel frustrated with my workload and became stressed out over minute mistakes. Apathy and dissociation towards work started seeping in.……
“Depression took everything out from my heart, rendering it empty especially in my darker moments…….”
We often hear a lot about people who have committed suicide, but don’t have as many conversations about those who are still suffering. I grew up in a very normal, loving family. Judging from my usual, bubbly personality, people are often surprised and few even are in disbelief when I tell them I have depression. In our imperfect attempt to understand depression, we build a box of preconceptions. We assume it happens because of a very sad situation. We may expect them to look a certain way. To look, well, depressed. And pathetic……
“Working Here Is Like Being on a Train That You Can’t Get Off”
Working as a foreign doctor in the UK comes with unique challenges. When I applied for specialty training, there was an unspoken pressure to apply immediately after completing housemanship without a career break. If not, you would only be eligible to apply for jobs left over from the first round. Things have changed substantially since October 2019, as foreign doctors are now considered on equal footing with UK nationals when applying for specialty training. However, we still have to meet a minimum salary requirement in order to secure a visa. Assuming you manage to end up in the system, it’s difficult to go part time or take time out of your training. If you do, Health Education England may not be able to continue sponsoring your visa for you to continue with your specialty training……
“All My Patients Were Neighbours”
When the call initially went out, I knew deep down what I had to do as a Medical Officer (MO) and a Malaysian. I had been working as a MO in Johor in the Orthopaedics department for the past 6 months but I knew that there were other places in need. I had to leave my comfort zone and respond to the call of need from Sabah and before I knew it, I was saying goodbye to my parents and off I was to combat the pandemic ravaging the island. I was nervous and afraid of what I was about to face, it certainly didn’t help that the information coming out of Sabah was few and far between……
“I’ve always wanted to be a doctor. Now that I’m not- what am I?”
I had always wanted to be a doctor. My mother was a nurse, and so from a young age, I was already very familiar and comfortable in hospitals. Everyone even called me “doctor” growing up.
Hollywood tells us what a doctor should look like - tireless, self-sacrificing individuals, sleep deprived from working odd shifts, and always ready to serve. The media romanticised burnout and exhaustion. I had this image painted in my head. “It’s good to suffer. You’re suffering for a good cause.”. That was what I grew up with– service before self. I prized selflessness and was prepared to forgo my own wellbeing for someone else’s……
“… When Will the Numbing Effects of a Toxic Working Environment Start To Seep In?”
“Berapa kali perlu saya ulang? Saya sudah bagitahu yang ini ialah kanser dan perlu operation!” (“How many times have I told you? This is cancer and it needs to be operated!”), exclaimed an exasperated specialist, in front of three other doctors and two medical students, as she explained to the wife of a patient with oesophageal cancer that her husband would need surgical intervention the next day……
“NURTURING YOUNG DOCTORS – Hope, Reality, Tragedy. (Part 1)”
HAPPY 2021!!
This post is for everyone to read.
I trust you are all actively engaged in staying healthy and safe.
Although this post may be relevant to all and sundry it is specially dedicated and directed to medical students and doctors I have had the opportunity to engage with through their education and development……